Guest Essay: “Gender Safety as a Community Commitment” by Léa Fae (they/them), USA.

Last year, my martial arts community had a reckoning. A respected and popular sensei within our greater community was accused of sexual misconduct and gender-based harassment. Those accusations raised strong and deep questions: How does this happen? How should our community respond to accusations? What responsibility does the community bear for one member’s actions? How do we prevent this in the future?

As martial artists, we often pride ourselves on our conflict negotiation skills and ability to de-escalate tense situations. Often, we are seen as protectors within the greater community because of our physical training and resilience. We advocate for non-violence, knowing that the best type of fight is one where everyone walks away.

However, navigating gender-based discrimination and sexual misconduct is not the same thing as stopping a fight at a bar. This type of violence is subtle and begins small, escalating slowly over time. This creeping escalation is especially insidious because once a predator starts making their target uncomfortable, an outsider can easily dismiss complaints as a simple misunderstanding or harmless joking. This dismissal can have grave consequences; these are patterns of behavior that are under-reported, undetected, and often unchallenged.

Intentionally creating a safe space for all martial artists must be paired with intentionally creating an unsafe space for predators. Sometimes this means confronting someone you have known and trained with for years.
A predator of this nature is not a mustache-twirling villain but often a charming, gregarious personality that slowly and methodically singles out an individual. I note that this issue affects all genders and sexualities, and preventing it is a community responsibility. There are often warning signs, early complaints, and simple actions we can take to support a victim before a situation escalates. Those actions involve educating ourselves and each other, breaking down hierarchies, and questioning stereotypes about what harassment can look like.

Here are some steps that every dojo can take to create a safer training space:

KNOW THE SIGNS

Know the warning signs of gender-based discrimination and harassment. Jokes that are inappropriate but allowed to slide can silently alienate an individual. Someone who once seemed enthusiastic can begin withdrawing from training if they find themselves the target of too many inappropriate comments.

Withdrawal is like drowning – everyone thinks they can spot someone flailing in the water, when really it’s a silent slip under the water. Check in with your students regularly to ensure they feel enthusiastic and supported in class and in community spaces. If a student is withdrawing, have someone check in with them individually to see if there is something deeper happening.

EMPOWERMENT OVER PROTECTION

A victim of gender-based discrimination and sexual misconduct will come forward to whomever they feel most comfortable. This puts the onus on the community to have a mindset which empowers a victim to come forward and seek fair retribution with the help of an ally, rather than benching the victim and taking the process over from them. Allow the victim their agency by listening to how to move forward with arbitration. Sometimes removal of the offender from the community is necessary, but often allowing the victim to find ways to not have to interact with someone making them uncomfortable can be enough.

QUESTION AUTHORITY

Traditionally, the sensei of a community deserves respect and deference towards learning the skills required to master a martial art. However, no one person should be free of any and all criticism. Speak with your community leaders to decide how a conflict with a leader can be mediated in a manner that values a victim’s dignity over a predator’s reputation.

RESPECT GENDER IDENTITIES AND PRONOUNS

This type of discrimination is targeted at trans and non-binary individuals at higher rates. Practice using someone’s correct pronouns if it is difficult for you, and learn how to be corrected with dignity, tact, and grace when someone tells you their pronouns. Have gender neutral changing room options in addition to your normal changing rooms. Not everyone is comfortable with communal changing rooms (even if, and sometimes especially if they are gender segregated) and it should be no problem that a person chooses to change in private.

KNOW THE POLICY

Your dojo likely belongs to a federation with a policy on what to do in these situations. A person who comes forward should have the option to move forward with arbitration if that is what they choose. Make sure your community knows what your federation’s policy is on this type of harassment, and make sure you document incidents as they are reported.

Often, this behavior can be stopped before it becomes a serious issue. But it takes an active focus, attention, and shared leadership responsibility. Don’t be afraid to speak up when someone makes an inappropriate comment, even if it is your Sensei, and even if that comment isn’t for you. Productive “speaking up” should come from a place in your morals and views, not in the name of others. We train our kiai so that we may have a strong voice, use yours! Only together can we protect our communities from those who would alienate us from one another. Go forward knowing it is our collective responsibility to empower everyone to be the best version of themselves, in the dojo and beyond. Ganbate!

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