One Step Closer #8: Walking the long road.

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

As a human being with empathy, it is impossible not to feel deeply saddened by the unapologetic ignorance and cruelty taking place in the world right now. The stripping away of people’s basic human rights, safety, and life is happening all around us. It is no coincidence that occurring simultaneously is increased violence against women (reproductive rights), the LGBTQI+ community (trans people), immigrants, and Palestinians. We cannot speak about one issue and not consider the other and how they are all connected. The violence that seeks to control marginalised bodies stems from the same underlying forces. Their influences are far‑reaching and are even entering our sub‑communities like kendo. The current anti‑trans policy of the European Kendo Championships (EKC) is one example. Another is the fact that few are daring to share their viewpoint on Israel’s participation in the EKC on social media.

Patriarchy is asserting itself with a new level of aggression, trying to reclaim what it believes has been “lost.” Its discourse is being used as a political tool to take a firmer strangle hold on freedom and democracy. Human rights and lives are being discarded like trash by people who have never embodied the ethical or moral standards they claim to hold. Only using those claims to justify their lies and the violence they inflict. This has become the new performance of power — taking power by force with negligent words and actions supported by a sense of entitlement. It reeks of colonialism.

Critics and upstanders, even white cis people, are being met with “might is right” violence. Open hypocrisy, disregard for human life, and violence against the marginalised have become normalised demonstrations of power, and the results are devastating. Leaders socially sanction the use of violent words and behaviours against people targeted by systemic oppression.

We have democratically regressed dramatically in a short time. The pace of violence is so rapid that we barely have the breathing room to process the catastrophe unfolding before us from one moment to the next. A single scroll through social media shows just the fragility of equality and how deeply embedded norms are. The faceless voices that unleash themselves on social media show no consciousness of the harm and hate they spread. The volume of misinformed and openly hostile words directed at trans people, cis women, and immigrants reveals how shallow that progress has been, and how technology has failed to advance social progress and our critical thinking.

Not enough is being done. Too many of us remain intentionally distracted and silent. And it does feel like a hopeless situation. This is part of their plan. But amongst the distraction, silence and fear, there are glimmers of hope. Authoritarian leaders are being removed from power. Activists within our communities are sacrificing their time and money, even risking their opportunities, freedom and their lives to stand up for human rights abuses.

We need to remain steadfast. When advocates for social justice turn their gaze away, even for a moment, the risk of reversal appears. Discrimination, bullying, and harassment rise. How close patriarchal control lingers, waiting just beneath the surface.

What has kendo got to do with it?
Why write about the global crisis in a article series meant for my journey toward 7‑dan? Because it has become increasingly difficult to justify the focus, time, and money invested om a goal that is self‑focused and prioritises my own development to then be judged by the subjectivity of others in the times we are living in.

Although I am confronted with these emotions now, I am still on my course and working towards the goal. But at my pace with authenticity. I am very confident the day will come that pass and it will not be accidental or “by luck” or by who I know or the position I have. I want to continue speaking up about social justice issues especially for those that can not. Even when I become 7-dan I will continue to speak up. But I will continue to speak up in these times of patriarchal reversal as I do not fear missing out on opportunity or being frozen out by standing up.

How I experience the feeling of kendo with myself and when I practise with particular people — is what keeps me in kendo. Nothing can break the personal relationship I have with kendo. After I practice kendo, I feel recalibrated and clear. I feel myself.

Everytime I speak out about social injustice, I wonder however if this will impact on my future opportunities, such as passing 7-dan. I am not that important though and I do not know how far reaching my words are. What I do know is that I am one of the very few people that criticise kendo, calling for it to be better. I know the 7-dan grade will not be handed to me and I am very ok with that. I have a very high standard of what I want my kendo to be like based on the kendo role models I have in my life and what I expect for myself. I know I am not there yet. Kendo is a very personal journey.

It is hard to see kendo in an other light, the darker side — despite its beauty and magic. Kendo is deeply patriarchal where discrimination, bullying, and harassment are not uncommon. And not openly spoken about. The grading system, along with other selection processes in kendo, relies heavily on the subjective perspectives of those in positions of power. These perspectives shape how performances are evaluated, and the resulting decisions can redirect a person’s opportunities, influence, and life course. This becomes one of the quiet but effective ways control is exercised within kendo. It is, after all, a profoundly interpersonal practice. We are trained to perform respect in ways that elevate those who lead us, leaving little room to question or challenge harmful behaviour. The very etiquette that binds the community as “cultural knowledge” can also silence the people most affected by inequities that power manufactures.

As we know, these problems are not unique to kendo. They reflect the nature of power itself and the patterns are familiar within institutions everywhere. A problem with institutions like kendo is that they are visibly hierarchically structured and promote themselves as ethical entities. Yet martial arts like kendo have gendered and power ladden structures that enable violence and thereafter conceal violent acts to protect institutional reputation and, all too often, personal relevance and social ascent. A fantasy, a vision?

The nature of power, and how abuse is enabled, becomes visible also in the absence of transparent and effective complaint processes. It also shows in the way people in positions of authority, or those seeking relevance and influence, often refrain from speaking up or acting against harmful behaviour. I know this because I have witnessed it and an increasing number of women and men have contacted me to share their experiences of misconduct and abuse. Sara Ahmed (2026) shares “hierarchies are what makes it hard to complain, the people who have more power in the institution they know what to do to silence, to punish and to retaliate. Retaliation is so hard to evidence. Its about doors not opened. About opportunities not received.”

I know this through my 35-years of kendo participation and more recently being a “feminist ear” or a “collector of complaints” (Ahmed, 2026) for women in the budo world that have experienced discrimination, bullying and harassment. Dojos and federations deal and mishandle complaints into disappearance. The complaint and complainant are more likely to disappear while the harmful behaviour is given space to continue.

Many people accept certain aspects of kendo culture as the price of belonging or wanting to belong. Like many martial arts, kendo offers identity, relevance, community, a sense of empowerment, and power over people. Advancement often depends on conforming to established social conventions, even when those conventions conflict with the ethical ideals kendo claims to uphold. The result is a culture where the values of respect and discipline are unevenly applied, and where the desire to belong or to attain power can override the willingness—or the perceived permission—to question harmful behaviour.

Rather than speaking up should they instead focus on bettering themselves and enriching kendo in an unsafe environment. What if people feel there are forces working against them to achieve this simply based on their gender identity — as an example.

It is not the responsibility of marginalised people to purposefully organise their place in the world or in kendo to enrich the world and kendo in general. Do cis men need to organise their place in the world and in kendo to enrich kendo or world — or is it just given? There are number of cis men who have the their place given to them and there are those who do not enrich the world, nor kendo although they claim they do.

On my journey…..

Following the format of my previous articles in series, I will share what I have learned recently through my kendo experiences in my journey towards 7-dan. They are both positive/negative and equally strengthening.

I was very fortunate to have my kendo role models visit Sweden for a kendo seminar recently, and I received helpful feedback that has provided kendo fodder for the next period of my development until I see my sensei again. After the seminar, I shared my shinsa videos with my sensei and she responded, “nemui” — “I feel sleepy.” I love her raw honesty, although it has had me in tears at times. She said, “You aren’t doing anything. You need to show your good waza in shinsa.” Simple as that.

Her point was clear. I think in high‑graded shinsa we become so caught up in performing aesthetically and showing a strong mindset that it can invoke self‑paralysis — an over‑focus on what 7‑dan should look like. She also provided me with feedback on keeping a still left hand in kamae, saying my waza will improve if I can stabilise that. After four keikos with her over the time, that was the only feedback she focused on, which shows how one detail can shift everything. The sharpness of my waza have already improved.

Prior to the visit, I had had two less positive learning experiences that had me write alot of enraged words in my journal in response to what was said to me as feedback for grading preparation performance. Disinterested and sexist are the words that come to mind. It was not feedback, they were low quality interactions. The experiences disappointingly demonstrated that people with higher grades are not necessarily good teachers or introspective people. It is important to remember that as a student in kendo. It is however important to perform respect to higher grades, but real respect and trust is earned, not assumed or given because of the grade. Experiencing terrible teaching, I have a better understanding of how important it is respect and appreciate those that seek your guidance with a genuinely interested and equality-oriented mindset.

I have decided to stand up for social justice as part of my journey toward 7‑dan. My kendo will be stronger for it, and my work will continue to offer a critical voice — one that is needed to “enrich the kendo in general” for kendo to be accountable and be more aligned with the values it claims to uphold.

Please reach out to me through the contact form if you need a “feminist ear.”

Reference

Ahmed, S., & Gay, R. (2026, April 7). Sara Ahmed presents “No! The Art and Activism of Complaining” with Roxane Gay [Author talk]. CUNY Graduate Center, New York, NY.

To previous blog posts in this series:

#1 One Step Closer: Starting again.

#2 One Step Closer: Standing Tall.

#3 One Step Closer: Being Comfortable in Open Space.

#4 One Step Closer: Connecting with Ki.

#5 One Step Closer: Connecting and Communicating.

#6 One Step Closer: Showing Myself

#7 One Step Closer: “Failing” Forward with Gratitude.

To Article Archive

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