‘Winning Against the Self of Yesterday: Diligently Striving to be Better and Enjoying the Moment in Shiai’ with Saya Guadarrama (France).

Foreword by Kate Sylvester. 

With the World Kendo Championships (WKC) fast approaching, this new series of articles focuses on women’s perspectives and approaches to competitive kendo leading up to the WKC in Italy (July 4-7, 2024). The articles feature insightful and inspiring reflections from women competitors, coaches and referees.

The French National Kendo Team is currently the most consistently successful national team in Europe. In 2023 at the European Kendo Championships (EKC), France won gold in every event except for the Ladies Individual category. Despite their history of success, buoyant kendo community, and depth of kendo skill, they are yet to break through to the medal standings at the World Kendo Championships. The luck of the draw is yet to be on the side of Team France. Undoubtedly, it is simply a matter of time before Team France stands on the podium at the World Kendo Championships (WKC). 

Earlier this year, French national women’s team member Saya Guadarrama visited Stockholm and I had the opportunity to train with her and spend some time talking kendo. At 21-years of age, Saya has a mature kendo mindset and has already achieved significant results in kendo having won the French national championships and in 2023 and achieving the bronze medal at the EKC in the same year. Saya is an intelligent and magnetic person who is an up and coming star in the European circuit. 

What first impressed me about Saya’s kendo was how she appeared in her bogu, particularly the gaze she held through her mengane. Saya’s composed and imposing presence in her bogu left an impression that demonstrated the merits of her current kendo environment, Tsukuba University. I enjoyed our keiko and appreciated Saya’s highly competitive approach to kendo, as well as her enthusiastic motivation to improve.  She has a presence and confidence in herself that has been developed through invested engagement in her interests. Luckily for women’s kendo, kendo happens to be one of Saya’s passions, which was expressed through when she shared her perspectives on kendo, and that she “loved” training at Tsukuba University. These elite kendo environments are tough physically and emotionally for “outsiders”. Saya’s perspective on “loving” the opportunity to train at Tsukuba demonstrates that she embodies the athletic ability, drive, and love for kendo that overrides the discomfort that can manifest in such environments. Saya’s brightness and attitude towards kendo and life surely garners support and sincere interest in her development from those around her. 

Saya describes herself as talkative, but her positivity and intelligence emanates a brilliance of energy that is captivating and uplifting. I experienced my interaction with Saya during keiko and over a beer as immensely enjoyable. In the short time I spent with Saya, I learnt about various topics including women classical composers and scientists. I was particularly impressed by her breadth of knowledge and social connectedness in kendo. I appreciated how she open mindedly and respectfully spoke of female kendo sensei and sempai in France. She mentioned that she appreciates that her team coach, Natsuki Grossin (6 dan) and how she passionately coaches at team trainings and works hard to share her kendo knowledge. Another moment that held emotional gravity was when Saya warmly spoke of her kendo rivals and of course, her teammates. 

The following passages articulate Saya’s perspectives and experiences in kendo and life in her own words. The high level success that Saya is currently experiencing in kendo is not accidental. Saya has broken through to kendo success due to her 16-years of kendo, work ethic, determination, humility, as well as the support around her.  The future of global women’s kendo is bright with diligent, talented, open hearted, and determined women such as Saya Guadarrama in our community. 

How did you start kendo?

I started kendo when I was 5-years-old because my parents and brother practised kendo. I did not have interest in kendo right away, because at the same time I started ballet and piano. When I was about 6 or 7-years-old, I even told Ines Loidi (current national team member) that I will not continue kendo because I wanted to become a “petit rat” (a student of the Paris Opera Ballet). But here we are 15-years later competing in the same team. I think I really started to love kendo when I made friends with people of the same age. It was also the time when I started to compete. Maybe I thought unconsciously that I wanted to win many competitions just like my brother. 

What do you appreciate about kendo and find challenging?

What I find amazing about kendo is that we can meet and communicate with other people despite differences in age, culture, and gender. Even if you do not have the same culture as your opponent or that you can not communicate through words, you can communicate through the keiko because we have both learnt the language of kendo and we also learnt the same values through it. I find it very exciting to discover someone through their kendo. Also I enjoy the moments after the shiai, I am a very talkative (sometimes too much) person and it is very exciting to meet new people in kendo events and to make new friends. Furthermore I love the respect that we have for each other in a tournament. The fact that we say thank you after the shiai creates bonds, and even if you lose and may be sad, you can have a huge respect for the person who won. I have a picture that illustrates this at the last EKC medal ceremony. In the photograph Kasia Babinska (Poland) and I are smiling at each other because we were happy for each other’s 3rd place. I really love this photo.

Moreover, I also love the idea that once you start kendo it is for life. Compared to other sports (even if kendo it’s not a sport) you can continue until a certain age to improve your skills and I really love this idea to be able to continue what you love forever (or almost forever). 

What is the most challenging thing in kendo for me, because you can do it for life, you try to always tend to a perfection knowing that it does not exist. It is a long way to improve your kendo and it demands patience and hard work and I think being patient and trusting the process is very challenging. Especially when during all the training you are thinking about one specific thing to correct and that your sensei tell you at the end of the keiko this exact same thing to correct. It is very frustrating and you think that you will never achieve the movement correctly. But once you achieve it, you are very proud, only for a few seconds, because you have to think of the next thing to correct. It is also challenging not to compare ourselves too much with others. It is very hard because it is a sport of opposition. You need the opponent to improve your kendo, but if you compare yourself too much to other people you won’t be able to improve as much as if you focus on yourself. Of course, because we are competing we want to compare yourself to others but trying to find the right balance between comparing enough and focusing on ourselves is challenging.

Please describe your experience training at Tsukuba University. What do you enjoy about it and how is it benefiting your kendo?

Before coming to Tsukuba I was very stressed, not about the kendo skills because I knew that I would be the less strong and that I could only improve my skills. I was worried about the atmosphere of the dojo. I was scared that everyone would be very competitive and that I would not fit in. However, it was the total reverse. I was amazed about how nice people were and how the atmosphere was very healthy. I feel that the club members want to improve as a team together. I found that this was the same atmosphere as during the French national team trainings. Also, I think that the fact that I can speak Japanese did help me to integrate better. 

What I enjoy the most is how after keiko, when sensei and senpai give advice, they are very pedagogic and they also tell you when you improved something which motivates you to correct other things. Also, a lot of senpai ask you what you think about the keiko which makes you do a quick retrospection. This creates a sense of mutuality between the senpai and you. It forces you to think on your own first. I found it very pedagogic and it also provides the opportunity to talk more about your struggles and find solutions on what is wrong together with the senpai. 

The fact that I have less experience here makes me feel like a beginner and it helps me to try more things during keiko because I know that I will be hit in any case. Sometimes it can be hard mentally, because I can see how long the way is still to reach their levels. But I have received a lot of support from people here. They encourage me a lot. I am extremely grateful for this opportunity and to have met these amazing people. I think if you want to pursue your studies with a high quality pedagogy at school and to improve your kendo skills, Tsukuba University is the place to be.

What do you love about shiai?

What I love about shiai is all the adrenaline that you feel on the day. It is very stimulating and sometimes the opportunity makes you do things that you did not know you were capable of. Even though competition can be very scary and stressful, it can also be very exciting comparing our own kendo to others after having prepared for competition for months. But through this process, you can push your limits and challenge or overcome your fears. Moreover, after the shiai it makes your ideas clearer on what you have to improve for the next training to be stronger and more confident with your kendo. Furthermore, being able to watch how other people have improved can motivate you more because you don’t want to be behind and you want to keep reaching towards a higher level.

Is there an inspirational kendo practitioner that you admire? 

I admire so many people. It is a bit cliché to say that but I really admire my family. How devoted they are, not only in kendo but in everything they love is truly inspiring. Also here in France we have the chance to have many amazing sensei both women and men, and some who were in the French team. I will say that I admire all the investments that they put in kendo to improve french kendo. They left a legacy and I think it is also thanks to them that we are able to make a podium every year at the EKC. I admire my teammates a lot because I know how hard they train and I feel that we all bring something to the team and we make each other grow personally also. It is hard to pick any person in particular because each person that I have met, both French and non-French kendo people, have had their own experiences and struggles. I find everyone’s story something very inspirational. Furthermore, I look up to so many senpai from the university of Tsukuba. Not only to see how strong they are, but how good they are as senpai, which really inspires me to become as good a senpai as they are—after I have gained more experience.

But I also have huge admiration for people from other sports, musicians, scientists. I love to read biographies in general. Even if they are not from kendo, we can find very inspiring stories that can be related in kendo. I find a lot of similarities in dance, piano, and kendo. The main goal of those activities is producing something beautiful, and to achieve that we have to be hard workers, perseverant and patient. I am also a huge fan of UCLA gymnastics, they are all very inspiring by their stories and they convey through sports very powerful messages, I love their vision of sports. In all the biographies that I read, there is something in common, people never stop believing and fighting for what they stand for, either is to find new concepts in science, find the perfect sound in music, or make a podium in sport because they love what they are doing. So I will say that my inspirations in kendo (and in life) are people who do what they like with pure joy and love because it is how I want my journey in kendo to be and also my life.

How do you prepare for a major competition?

For team event, we try to build a real team spirit during the national trainings and competitions, not only with the 7 women that go to the championship but with everyone from the group because we don’t know who will be selected in advance and we have to trust on each other on the day of the tournament whoever is in the team. We try to support each other not only during hard training but also outside kendo. I know that if I struggle with something either in kendo or life I can share it with my team since they are like my big sisters to me. 

One example was last year when I failed my final exams in mathematics. My national team mate Kiyoko Moutarde is a mathematics teacher and we called on Zoom every day before the second exam session. Thanks to her I passed and now I am studying in Tsukuba this year. It is only one example among many but these experiences help me to create trust in the team. Moreover, to be present for the team I try to prepare myself a lot. During the past two seasons, I have done a lot of mental training. When I lived in Bordeaux, I had a 1 hour bus to go to my university. I had a lot of time to waste, so I was doing some visualisation on the bus. I first heard of visualisation training from one source that my father downloaded years ago. When I saw that UCLA gymnast used it, I wanted to try it myself. I try to create in my mind all the atmosphere of the competition, I look on internet pictures of the gymnasium where the competitions will be held to create the real condition as much as possible in my head, also with all the sounds etc. The first few times, I can feel all the stress and I am sweating and very scared. I feel that I can’t really move but after 2-3 days I become used to the emotions and I feel better. Also before a competition, I always eat katsudon.

When you won a major competition, was there something special you did for that preparation? Can you please describe the feeling or mindset before, during and after the tournament?

In terms of mindset before, it really depends on how I feel on the day. I can say that with my best friend and forever roomie, national team member Adelie Robin, we put music on when we wake up to motivate ourselves. This music is about the French Football Team. Regarding the team event, I can not say so much as I have only participated at two EKC and the experiences were totally different as was my mindset. At the first EKC in 2022, I was discovering everything and no one knew me as a kendoka so I had nothing to lose. However, last year at the 2023 EKC the team had to keep the title so the mindset was not the same.

During the competition, as a team, I would say that we try to stay in our bubble. Like a lot of people, I feel a lot more pressure in the team event than in individuals, and last year’s team event at EKC was terrible from an individual perspective. I was so frustrated to not be able to move like I was used to. I did not fight in the semi final and final matches, but even if it was a bit frustrating for me, I knew that the team was more important so I wanted to be here as much as possible for the team and calculate everything. For example, I kept the team members up to date with the point scores, put on tasuki, filling their water bottles, and saying words that try to relax or motivate the girls. For the individuals, the day before we did a light training and I did not want to push myself too much because of individual event, so I told everyone, “Today, I want to have a chilled training”. I had a very good feeling, so on the individual day I told myself to enjoy the competition as much as possible, without having regrets and to do my kendo as if it was a chilled training at my dojo. 

After a tournament, there is a big feeling of relief from the pressure that we have put on ourselves during the whole year so I usually cry out of joy, sadness—or both. 

How do you deal with the pressure of shiai?

I had a lot of opportunities to work on my stress because I practised piano and ballet for over a decade and there were a lot of recitals, exams and shows. So with those experiences, I could face pressure and stress of performance. But that does not mean that I have found THE key to deal with it. I have received a lot of advice from my piano teachers and I also watched a lot of interviews of ballet dancers to figure out how to deal with pressure and stress. I have tried some of these strategies. 

In general, if I stress I won’t tell myself that having stress is bad. Actually I think that the stress is good, it means that I am focused on what I have to do. If it is too big, it’s not good of course. In these scenarios, I take deep breaths to calm myself down. Doing visualisation training has also helped me because I can feel all the bad stress when I visualise myself for the first time. Also as I said before, during the EKC what worked was to think to enjoy the moments and to not have regrets at the end of the day. It worked once, maybe it’s going to work every time? I am still young so I still have to figure out what fits me the best.

How have you personally grown from kendo, particularly competitive kendo? Does it benefit your life outside of kendo?

I can’t separate my life from kendo. As far as I remember I always practised kendo so I can not compare my life before and after kendo but I definitely grew up with kendo values. First, as my mother was my teacher when I was a child, she educated me with the values of kendo. Our motto in my dojo is “Today, win against the self of yesterday”, and it is something that I tell myself a lot even outside kendo.

I also grew a lot from French national junior trainings. They were very hard trainings and each time I had to push my limits. It has taught me perseverance and diligence (even with sore muscles). Also those training taught me team spirit. It was very hard mentally and physically so we all needed each other’s support, and my friends that I met there are still my friends now. We still train together as seniors, and we still support each other during training or competitions. It is also where I built my friendship with one of my best friends, Adelie Robin, with whom I did and still do a lot of oikomi and kakarigeiko and I am sure that there are still a lot to come.

Furthermore kendo has taught me patience, because to correct bad habits it takes time and it can be frustrating sometimes to not achieve the movement correctly and quickly. I can mention other things that kendo taught me but it would be a dissertation and I am sure that kendo will always teach me new things during all my life. 

How have you dealt with kendo slumps or a disappointing performance?

I remember once, after a competition I was very disappointed with my performance (even if there were some good shiai) but on the global stage it was not a good competition for me. I had accumulated so many kendo weekends and was also very stressed with school and so I did it without a good mindset and I didn’t enjoy it. After that competition I cried for 2-days and I did a break of kendo for one week where I spent more time than ever with my friends. 

I think when this situation happens, you have to know why it happened and what you can take from this experience. There is always something to take from all experiences and I think every bad situation leads to a good one. It was the first time I was that devastated by a kendo competition and I am sure it won’t be the last time. For me it is part of the process and it is important to live through disappointing performances to grow from them. Also I always have the support of my friends and family. My father every time finds wise words in those situations that help me to not take it too much to heart.

Do you have a special shiai experience you would like to share?

I have many special shiai experiences in mind. All the shiai that were very close, or where I thought that I would lose, but I won or did hikiwake were very special to me. The quarter finals of last year’s EKC both team and individual and when i fought against my brother at the Iijima cup are memorable. I can also mention the Kojika tournaments where I could see my level among the other juniors in Europe. Also I have a lot of special shiai experiences where I was only watching, like the first time I supported my brother at the EKC in 2014, or this year when the women’s team of Tsukuba University won the All Japan Intercollegiate  Kendo Championships.

But I think that one of my most special shiai was during the French Junior National Championship in 2014 when I was 10-years-old with my brother Luc Guadarrama who is also currently in the national team. It was three person team event but there was no one from our dojo to fight in the position as jiho, so we did the championship with only the two of us. I remember that before the competition we told ourselves that f that if we lose we were going to do a lot of kirikaeshi and hayasuburi as a joke (I think it was a joke). We both knew that we could not lose any shiai to win the competition and that if my match resulted in hikiwake, my brother had to win 2-0. Until the semi-final we were both able to win our matches but in the final my match finished with hikiwake. My brother won his match after  after a long daihyousen and we won the competition. It was the first time I won a gold medal at the French Junior National Championships and to share this memory with my brother makes it even more special.

What do you want to achieve at this WKC?

For this WKC, we have our own objectives with the team. The French team have never made the podium at the WKC and why not this year? I am also looking forward to showing the progress I have made. I could not compete in Europe this year as I am in Japan, but I really want to fight first for my team and myself without thinking about what people will think of my kendo. If I can enjoy every shiai and every moment with my team and leave Milano without regrets it would be a great achievement. 

Please share any words of wisdom or motivational words that may inspire other women and men in the lead up to the WKC.

To be honest as I will be one of the youngest competitors at the WKC and it will be my first one, I don’t know if my words are can be considered words of wisdom, but I think everyone is looking forward to the new format of this WKC and is preparing for it as much as they can. I can say that although sometimes training can be hard and frustrating, I think we have to remember that we first do kendo because we love it. It’s because we enjoy it that we want to improve, so I will say try not lose this joy and look after your bodies even though it is a big event and that the pressure at the WKC can be very high. 

About Saya Guadarrama

Saya is 3 dan in kendo and started kendo 16-years ago at the age of 5. She began kendo at Kendo Bordeaux, where her 6 dan parents Vincent and Satoko Guadarrama teach. Saya started competing as a  junior and was successful having placed at the French National Championships and Kojika Youth Tournament. Saya has done many activities outside kendo. She started dance and piano at the age of 5, and I also played handball for 5-years. Saya is a 3rd year undergraduate student in physics and after her bachelor degree , she would like to continue with a masters in physics and then a PhD to become a Physicist. Saya enjoys to spend time with her friends. She thinks having a chat while eating good food is so underrated. She also likes old things like classical music, film cameras and old books. 

Achievements in Kendo 

• 2022 and 2023 EKC – Gold in Women’s Team Event  
• 2023 EKC – Bronze in Women’s Individual Event 
• 2022 French National Championships – Silver
• 2023 French National Championships – Gold
• 2023 French National Championship (2nd Division Team) – Gold
• 2023 France Kendo Open – Gold 

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